Helen

We buried Helen this morning. Steve left the house before me and went over to view Helen before they buried her. When I got there, the Caskeys came, a membership of Garland 4th's bishopric was there (Brother Haskin), and President and Sister Kennedy. It was peaceful and spiritual. Steve dedicated her grave. We left there and got a bite to eat, came home and took a walk, and he is napping. I'm trying to pull things back into some form of order. Everything has gotten so chaotic over the past few weeks.

Steve's Mom

On the 31st of January we received a call from hospice saying that Steve's mother had taken a turn for the worst. It was kind of a crazy day in that Steve's sister, Peggy, had plans to fly in anyway and my sister flew in also for her MBA graduation ceremony. I picked my sister up at Love Field and went straight to Mayberry Gardens to check on Helen. From that day until today, my life has revolved around her and her 11x12 room. I watched her deteriorate and shrivel to nothing of her former self. It appears she most likely had a stroke and she could no longer swallow. According to her living will, no feeding tubes and no iv's to keep her alive.

She went for 18 days without food or water. She finally passed this morning at 1:30. Steve and I went straight over to Mayberry and were there until the funeral home picked her up at 4:00 a.m. I went over to Sparkman Funeral Home at 9:00 a.m. with Karen and we dressed her. I went into work mode and Steve and I emptied out her room this afternoon.

She is being buried tomorrow morning and we will have a memorial service for her in March when Steve's sister returns from Cuba.

It was awful watching her waste away. By today she didn't have an ounce of fat left on her - not anywhere. Her arms were as thin as my wrist. A long way from a woman who struggled with being overweight most of her life. She was a fighter though. Who would have ever thought she would have gone for as long as she did and would have died this way. Never in a million years would I have thought she would.

I struggled through this and kept trying to make sense of it, prayed to understand it, and finally realized it was between her and God and I didn't need to know the answers - he did and I'm sure by now, she does.

Someone asked me today if I felt like I'd had 800 pounds lifted off my shoulders, and I'd have to say no. Its too early to feel anything but numb.

President Gerrard came by tonight and brought flowers from the presidency. What a neat man he is.